Ached my soul. I'd dug through PubMed for days,
Looking for evidence best in every place,
With palpitating heart (typing fingers ablaze),
When I saw at last in the "advanced search", your face:
O the most costly and protracted of trials known!
O the golden standard of medical research's best!
O the method most likely to prove causation!
Show me results favoring my thesis alone,
Be thy form free of all conflicts of interest,
Be thee the research that grants me publication.
Looking for evidence best in every place,
With palpitating heart (typing fingers ablaze),
When I saw at last in the "advanced search", your face:
O the most costly and protracted of trials known!
O the golden standard of medical research's best!
O the method most likely to prove causation!
Show me results favoring my thesis alone,
Be thy form free of all conflicts of interest,
Be thee the research that grants me publication.
